Posterous theme by Cory Watilo

Filed under: personal

Making sense of my weight gain

I just came across this on Lifehacker today. This makes so much sense! My sleep habits started taking a dive when I started working night shifts. It was so difficult to change my circadian rhythm that I wouldn't get enough sleep. I haven't work night shifts in more than 5 years now, but I have moved half-way across the world, so in effect, my days and nights have flipped. I have trouble falling asleep*, but when I do fall asleep, I have no trouble sleeping for 8-9 hours at a stretch, but I usually cannot, because I have to get in to work at a decent hour. 

*I have trouble falling asleep because I can never fully unplug. I'm always either checking email, browsing facebook, or twitter, watching TV, or Netflix. The only thing that helps me sleep is reading a book, but I haven't done that in a while. I really need to reset my sleep clock.

Homesick

I was talking to my father yesterday. He had just gotten back from a trip to Kannur. He was talking about our home there and the updates they've done.

Later last night, while recounting the conversation to my wife, I felt this overwhelming sense of homesickness. I wasn't missing Bangalore where I grew up and feel more at home because I know the language better and have a lot of friends there. I kept seeing flashes of myself relaxing in our home in Kannur; in my dad's house where he grew up, where we'd go as children during our mid term vacation; on the beach nearby; the lake near our home.

I also saw flashes of Nana and Nani (my maternal grandparents), of Ammamma (my paternal grandmother) and my uncles and aunts and cousins. All flashes of happy memories, of a more carefree time of my life. Of a time where I wasn't chained to a mobile phone or a laptop or a desk.

And then a sad realization washed them away. The realization that I'm no longer that carefree person anymore. I'm older, with more responsibilities. I may not be able to go back to being that carefree person anymore.

Don't get me wrong, I love my life. I enjoy being a husband, a father, I enjoy my job. But lately it seems like these things have taken over the real me.

Maybe I just need a vacation.