Homesick
I was talking to my father yesterday. He had just gotten back from a trip to Kannur. He was talking about our home there and the updates they've done.
Later last night, while recounting the conversation to my wife, I felt this overwhelming sense of homesickness. I wasn't missing Bangalore where I grew up and feel more at home because I know the language better and have a lot of friends there. I kept seeing flashes of myself relaxing in our home in Kannur; in my dad's house where he grew up, where we'd go as children during our mid term vacation; on the beach nearby; the lake near our home.
I also saw flashes of Nana and Nani (my maternal grandparents), of Ammamma (my paternal grandmother) and my uncles and aunts and cousins. All flashes of happy memories, of a more carefree time of my life. Of a time where I wasn't chained to a mobile phone or a laptop or a desk.
And then a sad realization washed them away. The realization that I'm no longer that carefree person anymore. I'm older, with more responsibilities. I may not be able to go back to being that carefree person anymore.
Don't get me wrong, I love my life. I enjoy being a husband, a father, I enjoy my job. But lately it seems like these things have taken over the real me.
Maybe I just need a vacation.